Why do u want to go?

20th March 2011 - midnite
I got a call from my best fren telling me he decided to quit the job.
That was the most horrible to receive during the middle of the night which is worse than a nightmare.
At that moment I am juz at a loss of words. I juz cant control my tears.
Till now I still do not know what is the actual reason for you to leave.
Kyun? Kyun? Kyun?
But doubt u are going to tell me. Each time the tot of you leavin juz pain me.

Our partnership at work had been doing well. We do not have disputes and disagreements at all times. All problems and issues were able to resolve with peace.

You had been a good fren on business or personal. Each time I have any problems, u will be there to help. Even not able to resolve, your moral support is still there. We have gone through a lot of stress and pressure on work. Actually I felt yours is greater than mine.

We speak alot outside work too. Your family, hobbies, interests etc... At times when u started something u love, you will juz carry on and on. Though there are certain things I may not understand, but I will just listen cos we can learn a lot of things through your experience.

But now, u will be leaving the job soon. I tried to stop you from resigning but suppose not hopeful and not able to supersede yr family's decision. I m juz going to lose a good fren and listener to my problems. I have no one else to turn to anymore. Not sure I able to work with the new manager.

In barely a few days to come, I am not able to talk to you in office, on i-connect.
My dear fren, your team is going to lose a good team manager, a good boss.
I m going to lose a good partner, a good soulmate, close-heart fren.
Although modern technology is so advance and we can still 'meet' on facebook, but the feeling is still not the same as much as a phone contact. Well, probably that is the best choice available.

May I be able to see u again? Pray hard I do.
Really hope you will keep your promise to come Singapore at the end of the year. Then we should be able to catch up and fill up the missing part after yr departure.

Mera dost, from now till then, apna khayaal rakhiye.
Aap mujhe pasand ho. Mujhe tumse pyar hai.
Dil kee gaharaeon see.
Mujhe tum bahut yaad aate ho.
Fir miltne hain.

Rabbit year

CNY had come to an end today-17 Feb 2011.
Ms rabbit will still stay around for the next 11½ months.
This lunar new year had not been a fantastic one though we have more days to spend with and I had actually extend 2 more days.
But the mood is not there. I simply cant raise it to enjoy the entire off that I have.
What is bothering me? Only me and myself is fully aware.
Why is it so bad? Only me and myself will fully understand.
How is it going to be resolved? Only me and myself can fully know is quite difficult.
Too much things that I had never faced it before.
Too much stress that I had never expect it before.
Too much problems that I had never know how to solve it.
Too much trouble that I had never ever how to pull through.
I really wanna run away - from home, from city, from stress, from trouble, from problems.
I really wanna someone to be with - comfort me, console me, accompany me, protect me.
Will there be such a place to go?
Will there be such a person to stay?
So my NY and CNY resolution - try to find a nice place to let me enjoy the peacefulness and also get a good travel companion to walk the journey.
Hey let my dream and wish come true!!!

Trouble trouble trouble

Since the beginning of 2011 it had not been a good start.

All the things are not in the right position.

Problems, trouble, issues just come one after another.

I am very lost, very confused, very stressed, very pressured.

Family had been noticing the change in me lately, the quietness, the loneliness, the staying away and be alone.

I juz do not know how to tell, how to explain, how to express.
Everything is in a real mess....

I am very negative towards life, simply not able to say why.
Even the postings on FB are so sad, so negative, so disappointing.

Not sure what is going wrong with me but just feel that I am not able to hold on too long.

After watching the movie 'Into the wild', I really feel that I can be like the actor in the movie.
Burn the money, give up all the materialistic stuff and get to somewhere nobody know you, and u know none too. Is this running away from responsibilities? Is this not a way to solve our problems? Is this a terrible action? But who can tell me what should I do? How should I do then?